Dialogue (Comedic) - One Piece

Luffy, Zoro and Usopp: Chopper's a doctor?!?!

Nami: Why did you think we made Chopper join our crew?

Luffy: Seven Level transformation... Cool Reindeer...

Sanji: Emergency food supply...

(Context: Nami explains how Chopper was taught all of Dr Kureha's medical skill, which the other crewmates were oblivious to.)

Hachi: MY HAIR! You jerk! I'm gonna... I'm gonna... forgive you. I mean it's only hair, it'll grow back!

(Context: Zoro cuts off part of Hachi's hair during his fight with him.)

Arlong: Tell me, what hopeless difference is there between you and me?

Luffy: Nose... Jaw?

Yosaku: He... Is he playing around...?!

Johnny: No... I think he's serious.

Luffy: Webbed hands!

Arlong: IT'S OUR VERY SPECIES!!!

(Context: Arlong tries to explain to Luffy why he has no chance against him.)

Nami: Oh no!

Kalifa: [sexily strokes Nami's curvaceous body here and there through her revealing outfit as she weakens Nami with her powers.]

(Context: Kalifa gets behind Nami unnoticed, until too late)

Nami: [On all fours, she's having a hard time getting to her feet due to her Kalifa soaping her entire body. Her sexy breasts are gone; she's pissed] LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY BODY!?!

Kalifa: [Taunting] It's a pity that it also cleanses out your proportions. But look at your skin! It's gorgeous, I'm jealous

(Context: Nami after Kalifa turned her into a slippery mannequin. She loses her original figure.)

Yosaku and Johnny: Don't tell me Brother Luffy's secret plan was...!!

Luffy: LOOK! I GOT TEETH TOO!!!

Yosaku and Johnny (Thinking): There was no secret plan.

(Context: Luffy steals a pair of Arlong's teeth and puts it in his mouth.)

Sanji: Sorry, but i'm gonna have to decline your offer.

Luffy: No, I decline.

Sanji: You decline what?

Luffy: I decline your decline.

(Context: Sanji refuses to join the Straw Hats, but Luffy refuses to accept his decision.)

Luffy: Huh? Where is Chopper?

Luffy: Ah, there he is. (about 20 meters from Luffy lying in the sand)

Luffy: Why's he all the way over there?

Luffy: Is he trying to be funny?

(Zoro suddenly take his sword to Luffy's neck and Luffy's face became blue)

Luffy: Yes, it's my fault.

Luffy: I am sorry.

(Context: Luffy , Zoro and Chopper are walking in the desert when Luffy sees a place where there is a little shade and he wants to get there fast with the others so he uses Gomu Gomu no Rocket and this grabs the others with him)

Crocodile: But there's still a fundamental difference between you and I that you cannot overcome. That is the level of the Shichibukai (Seven Warlords of the Sea).

Luffy: So what if you're one of the Shichibukai? Then I must the Hachibukai (Eight Warlords of the Sea)!

(A bell sounds, in a comical way)

Cobra: Who is this man?

Robin: A pirate. Perhaps you haven't heard.

(Context: Luffy is fighting with Crocodile, and this conversation happens during their second fight)

Jango: Listen up you guys. Pirates really suck.

Fullbody: Oi oi, what are you saying? Did you forget or something? You used to be...a pirate!

Jango: Crap! Yeah, you're right! Shall we dance, baby?

Fullbody: LET'S DANCE!

(Context: Jango and Fullbody, after succesfully capturing a pirate ship for the Navy, have a discussion on pirates which quickly turns into a dance party)

Zoro: And that, is without a doubt, that.

Usopp: Yeah, he [Sanji] was a lost cause from the get-go.

Zoro: And so...

(Close up of Zoro and Usopp)

Zoro: The two of us are the last remaining bastions against her [Robin].

Usopp: Yeah, those weak-minded fools have failed us all.

Luffy: Oi, Usopp!

(Close up of Usopp looking very evil)

Usopp: Hmm?

(Close up of Luffy doing Chopper impression, with Robin's hands for Chopper's horns)

Luffy: Chopper!

(Luffy, Usopp and Chopper roll on the floor laughing, while Zoro looks irritated)

(Context: Robin wants to join the Straw Hat Pirates, but Usopp and Zoro do not trust her. Luffy then does a Chopper impression)

Usopp: AHH! IT'S NIGHT!

Chopper: THE WHIRLPOOL'S PULL IS GETTING STRONGER!

Usopp: We gotta pull out, Luffy! We can still make it! You understand, right!? This whirlpool alone is enough to kill us! Sky Island's just a dream within a dream!

Luffy: A dream within a dream? I guess so...

Nami: That's right, Luffy! I don't think I can do this either!

Luffy: An island from a dream within a dream? I could never pass up a great adventure like this!

Usopp: He... He's having fun...

(Context: The ship is sucked into a whirlpool that will supposedly send them to Skypiea.)

Nami: They still haven't decided yet? Sanji, that ball looks lovely on you!

Sanji: YES!!! I AM THE BALLMAN!!! I WAS BORN TO PLAY THIS ROLE!!!

Zoro: Seriously, you look great, just like a prince, of the Idiot Kingdom.

(Context: During the Davy Back Fight's Groggy Ring, the Straw Hat team tries to decide who will be the ball man.)

Alvida: Is that the bounty hunter you hired? Well, he certainly isn't Roronoa Zoro...

Koby: ...!

Alvida: So I'll give you one chance to repent... Who is the fairest throughout all the seas? Answer me!!!

Koby: Heh heh heh... Lady Alvida, you--

Luffy: Hey, who's that tough-looking old biddy?

Alvida: !!!!

Alvida's Crew: How dare... No way!

Koby: Luffy!! Take it back!! Throughout all of the seas, Lady Alvida is... Lady Alvida is...

Flashback Luffy: I'm gonna be the king of the pirates... And if I die trying... Then at least I tried!

Koby: Lady Alvida is... The ugliest old hag of all!!!

(Context: When Alvida meets Luffy, she thinks he is a bounty hunter hired by Koby to kill her. She asks Koby who the fairest woman in the seas is, and he starts to say it's her, then Luffy insults her. Koby is shocked, then remembers what Luffy said to him, and decides to be brave.)

Koby: Luffy, why did you go to sea anyway?

Luffy: Well, ya see... I'm gonna be the King of the Pirates!!!

Koby: K-King of the Pirates!!!? But... You'd have to make the whole world kneel to you!!! Wealth, fame, power-- You'd have to achieve it all!!! Don't tell me you're after Gold Roger's lost treasure, "One Piece"!!!! Do you want to die!? Every pirate in the world is after that!!

Luffy: And so am I.

Koby: But the odds against you are astronomical!!? It's impossible!! You want to be the King of the Pirates in the golden age of piracy!? It'll never happen!!

(Luffy punches Koby in the face)

Koby: Hey! W-Why'd you hit me!?

Luffy: 'Cause I felt like it...

(Spandam about to take Nico Robin and Franky to the Gates of Justice)

Spandam: Listen up, you bunch of fools! We urgently have to take Nico Robin away from the Straw Hat! We are heading to the Gates of Justice immediately! Bring those two!

Marine: Ch-Chief!

Spandam: It's alright, so won't you hurry for once!?

Marine: But...Franky's butt is inflating!

(Franky's butt has become abnormally large)

Spandam: Aah! What the hell is that?

Franky: Oh, Spanda! I perceived my own life's end, and I chose the path of self-destruction instead.

Spandam: What!??

Franky: At least I'll take all of you down with me.

Spandam: IDIOT! Idiiot, wait!

Franky: With a giant explosion of a three kilometer diameter, I'm gonna close the curtain on my existence. Don't you try to stop me!

(All Marines begin to run away frantically)

Spandam: Stop it! Save me! Don't involve me in this!

Franky: Three...two...

Spandam: Damn! I can't die here!

Franky: One!

Spandam: STOP IT!!

(Spandam jumps over the ledge of a staircase and lands on top of Marines below)

Franky: Let's go, Nico Robin!

(Franky grabs hold of Robin with his legs)

Franky: Coup de Boo!

(Franky farts loudly and sends himself flying through a wall and onto the balcony of the tower of Justice)

(After Luffy arrives on the Courthouse roof)

Spandam: Listen to his desperate shouting! I wonder what kind of expression he has?

Luffy: (With his finger up his nostril) What are you babbling about?

Spandam: He's picking his nose!?

(When Sogeking shot down Spandam and Nico Robin started running away)

Spandam: Shoot her!Shoot her to death without killing her!

Marines: HUH?!

(After an avalanche in the country of snow)

Vivi: Usopp-san!

Usopp: What, Vivi? Don’t wake me up. I was having the most beautiful dream. Really, it was a world like nothing I’ve seen before...with its beautiful flower fields and its beautiful rivers.

Vivi: DON’T GO TO THAT WORLD!

Usopp: Ah, the river, the river...

Vivi: Don’t fall asleep! WAKE UP! (hits him repeatedly)

Usopp: Ah! You saved me Vivi! So this is what it means to return from the brink of death! It’s great that I’m alive, but... (the camera pans to his bloated face)...is it me, or is my face swollen?

Vivi: I-it’s frostbite. Frostbite.

Usopp: Is it me, or does my head seem a bit heavier?

Vivi: These Snowy Countries are dangerous, you know...

Usopp: Is it me, or is my field of vision narrower?

Vivi: Besides, we have to hurry. We need to gather our bearings and asses our situation!

Usopp: Yeah, it’s probably just my imagination.