:: Hahaha...Sunday night ::

:: Hehehe.....Do you even like this? I guess the pictures really suit me right now. That's what I'm doing right now, burning the midnight oil on Sunday night while on Friday night till Sunday morning just casually wasting my time by doing nothing. :-p ::

Joke..joke

The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM " He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM . Wake up."

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep," the wife replied , " in-laws"

WOMEN'S REVENGE

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.

As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me,and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."

W O R D S

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day. 30,000 to a man's 15,000.

The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.

" The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.

God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;

God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."

The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."

Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."

Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says

............." HEBREWS"

Contoh Surat Rasmi - Poligami

Hahahaha! Poligami ---- tidak baik untuk kesihatan. Nyau teringat ke contoh menulis surat rasmi SPM ke di email dk sarinya. HAHAHAHAAH! This time JJ write; (Quoted by Siput)

Jelu Jipun

123 Address Dia,

Sibu Sarawak

Suruhanjaya Gereja-Gereja Malaysia

1234 Di mana Sahaja

KL

Tarikh: Somewhere in 2011

PERKARA: PERMOHONAN UNTUK BERPOLIGAMI SUPAYA DILULUSKAN OLEH PIHAK GEREJA

Tuan,

Perkara di atas adalah dirujuk.

2. Sebab utama permohonan ini dilakukan adalah kerana kuota yang diberi oleh pihak tuan pada peringkat ini tidak mencukupi untuk menampung permintaan terhadap saya selaku seorang insan yang bergelar lelaki. Permintaan yang tinggi ke atas seseorang yang bergelar lelaki ini lah yang mendorong saya untuk memohon untuk berpoligami kerana insan yang bergelar lelaki pada zaman sekarang semakin berkurangan biar di pasaran tempatan mahupun di pasaran global.

3. Memandangkan konsumer tempatan yang tidak berdaya saing dengan konsumer global, saya ingin mengajukan permohonan ini ke peringkat yang seterusnya agar saya boleh memperkembangkan bakat yang saya miliki ini untuk dikongsi dengan konsumer-konsumer di seluruh dunia. Dengan itu, saya juga ingin memohon imuniti bagi pihak saya supaya tidak dikecam oleh pihak gereja di tempat lain. Dengan kelulusan yang diberi oleh pihak tuan, kita dapat menyelamatkan dunia ini daripada ancaman kepupusan kerana kekurangan jumlah lelaki berbanding perempuan.

4. Segala kerjasama daripada pihak tuan saya dahulukan dengan ucapan ribuan terima kasih. Saya amat berharap pihak tuan meluluskan permohonan saya ini dengan secepat mungkin kerana nyawa, jiwa dan raga saya berada di dalam tangan pihak tuan. Dengan ini, saya lampirkan dokumen-dokumen permohonan dan surat-surat kahwin saya untuk tandatangan pihak tuan.

Akhir kata, saya berharap pihak tuan meluluskan permohonan ini agar saya dan insan-insan lelaki lain yang seperti saya dapat membendung bencana ancaman kepupusan di dunia ini. Sekian terima kasih.

"BERSEDIA BERKONGSI UNTUK DUNIA"

Yang Memohon,

Jelu Jipun.

Memoirs of IMH (Mental Hospital)

Record I

Patient A: "So how... this book not bad ya?"

Patient B: "Excellent! Astounding work.. No nonsense shit, sharp and concise to the point. But there's a major flaw in this piece of art too many character names to remember!!!"

Nurse: "Hey! Can the two of you..put the telephone book back to the original place?"


Record II

One doctor asked a patient: "If I were to cut one of your ear off, what will happen to you?"

Patient: "Then I will not be able to hear...."

Doctor: "Hmm.. that's normal...So if I were to cut your other ear off, what will happen to you?"

Patient: "Then I will not be able to see..."

The doctor became nervous and asked: "Why would you not see then???"

Patient: "Because my spectacles will drop down..."


Record III

IMH has an old lady who wears black everyday, carries a black umbrella and squats @ the entrance to the IMH everyday without fail, rain or shine.

The doctor wanted to administer treatment for her and decided to start by understanding her behaviour.

So, the doctor also wear black and carries a black umbrella; squatted outside together just next to her, rain or shine, everyday without fail.

So...days goes by...the two of them squatted side-by-side w/o a single exchange of words..for one solid month...

One fine day..the old lady finally broke the silence and asked the doctor: "Err...Excuse me! Are you also a mushroom?"


Record IV (the best)

A nurse saw a patient writing a letter.. She got curious and went to take a peek.. But the patient didn't wanna let her see.

Nurse (unable to contain her curiosity): "Who are you writing to?"

Patient : "I'm writing a letter to myself..."

Her curiosity grew and she thought to herself (Why would someone write a letter to himself?)

So she asked again: "So...what's written inside?"

Patient (got impatient): "You crazy ah? I haven't receive the letter, how would I know??"


Record V

Two patients escape from the IMH. They climbed up a tree and one of them fell from the tree and started rolling on the ground.

After a while, the patient rolling shouted to the top: "Hey! How come you are not coming down yet?"

The patient ontop replied: "No..no...I can't...I'm not ripe yet"


Record VI

One patient visited the doctor: "Doc...how? I think I'm a chicken since I was born..."

Doctor: "Woah! that's very serious...Why do you only come and seek treatment now?"

Patient: "Because my family needs me to hatch the eggs..."


Record VII (Perfect)

One truck driver was doing his usual delivery to IMH.. He discovered a flat tyre when he was about to go home after unloading the stuff.

He jacked up the truck and took the flat tyre down. When he was about to fix on the new tyre, he accidentally dropped all the bolts into the drain.

The truck driver was very sad as he can't fished the bolts up; started to panic.

Coincidentally, one patient walk past and asked the driver what happened.

The driver thought to himself, since there's nothing much he can do, he told the patient the whole incident.

The patient nonchantly replied: "can't even fix such a simple problem...no wonder you are destined to be a truck driver..."

he goes on explaining:

"You just have to take one bolt each from the other 3 tyres and fix it onto this tyre. Drive to the nearest workshop and replace the missing ones"

The driver was very impressed and asked "You're so smart but why do you stay in IMH?"

Patient replied: "I stay here because I'm crazy not STUPID!"