I reached my hometown yesterday night. And I told mom about my relationship with him. At first mom was like, "whoaaa..." but then after I reasoned everything with mom, only then realized that mom actually don't really bother with religion issue but actually she just worried that I won't be back anymore. Hmm...
But really glad that I told mom everything. Told mom how I met him. And don't you think that the funny thing is....mom never bother to ask how does he looks like. But I know mom, she won't bother with appearance also. The most important thing is, I'm happy. And right now, I am really happy being with him.
Why do I like him? How come I can fall for him? Love is always a mysterious thing. We never know when it will strike us.
I want to write more about him here, but I'm lazy to arrange my words and type it out. Maybe I should just attached my convo. with him in YM, or the sms, or his email. There're few things that made him special to me like 'let me color your life', 'i'm with you', 'cukup duit belanja tak?' and few more. His words always touched me. Nobody ever treated me nicely like how he treated me. Tho' it was just a word from him (or just a sweet talk) but whatever it is, it touched my heart. I'm so glad that God let him entered my life, and I promise myself, I'm going to do my best for this relationship.
I'm glad that I'm telling mom about him and glad that I have a very supportive mother. Right now I wonder what is his parents' impression toward me? Age gap, religion issue, hometown issue, there's so many obstacles.
I prayed to God, if he really meant for me, please make him close to me, but if he is not meant for me, please comfort my heart and to accept my fate. But no matter how, he's getting closer to me and the love towards him is growing. So, is he the one for me?
The words from UKM girl also really touched my heart when she said, 'sy sedar ianya berpunca dari kesalahan dan kesilapan sy sendiri, namun logikkah penyelesaian yang diambil oleh si dia? tiada kata putus yang diambil, malah menerima insan lain sebagai kekasih hati tanpa memberitahu kepada sy, sedangkan ketika itu, sy masih lagi dilabelkan sebagai "gurlfren" nya...mana sifat ehsan dia? andai dia tahu ianya terlalu menyakitkan...
dia memilih seorang perempuan non-muslim, sebagai pengganti sy, menjadikan sy lebih tercabar dan rasa terhina. adakah dalam kepala dia, sy ini lebih teruk dari org yang bukan Islam? pada mulanya memang sy tidak boleh terima, tapi siapakah sy untuk melarangnya... namun, Allah tahu, sy terlalu menyayanginya..dan Allah membukakan pintu hatinya untuk kembali kepada sy... '
Why did she mention about religion? Are we that bad? ZzzZzz...But forget about that.....right now what really concerned me when she said 'Allah tahu saya terlalu menyayanginya dan Allah membukakan pintu hatinya untuk kembali kepada sy..' <-- Yes, that time he really re-declared with her again and he ditched me. I was like....it's okay....I'm nobody and worthless.
But why....if she really loves him, but why she couldn't treat him nicely and steal his heart? And, why at last they break up again, for the 2nd time? Which mean all the time his heart is actually with me.
God is really funny.....I prayed to God in a selfish way and God granted my wish. I asked God to give me the chance. But am I a bad person? Am I stealing him from the girl? Do i deserved him? And right now, I am even more selfish....i won't let go of him and I won't let the UKM girl win this fight for the 3rd time. She had enough with her chances and she wasted her chance before. I won't do the same, but will you God, blessed our relationship?
Am I sounded so desperate right now? Before this, i already claimed myself as a single person, and I don't believe in love anymore, I totally give up. But he entered my life and changed my perception toward love. I am worthy in God's eyes. This is the 1st time someone attracted to me at the first sight.
Thank God for all the blessing. Please keep protect me from the evil one and guide me always. Don't let me fall into temptation and trials.
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