Today's Event

:: New hand fan ::

:: Orang Ulu costume that I bought today ::

:: Dinner for tonite; sambal petai, mix vege consist of mushroom and daun sabung and Ikan Jelawat masak asam pedas ::

Agendas for today:

1. 8.30 am go to church

2. 9.30 am go to Kanowit to find orang ulu costume

3. 11.30 am go to Durin and found orang ulu costume, bought it for RM180

4. 12.14 pm, call sayang, he's on the way to Muazam sending sister; driving.

5. Go to Sibu Jaya and bought the bead's hat for RM40 and the necklace RM11.

6. Go Sibu Jaya's market.

7. Reach home around 3pm, and a short while later, aunties and uncle from Miri reached.

8. Go to grandma's house.

9. Go back around 5pm.

10.Right now starving, waiting for dinner, so just login to blog a while and post something.

11.Is missing sayang..but he doesnt know that.

12. Later sis Lucyia will come to my house.

13. Wish that I can sleep or have time with myself, alone.

8.38pm, while waiting for sis Lucyia to come, i look at his pictures that is inside this laptop. Haiz....what happen actually? Does he meant for me? I always pray to God, if he is meant for me, make him closer to me but if he is not meant for me, just comfort me so that I can accept my fate. But how come, the feeling is getting stronger? Why I keep thinking of him? And why when I look at his pictures, make me miss him so much? This is really crazy...it seems like I'm the one that is so hopeless, so 'angau'....hahaha...just like a shadow lover. Weh....like this cannot be....I can't let him know about this. He might laugh at me. People said if we love somebody, reserve 60% for ourselves. How about me? How many percent I reserved for myself? Seems like none to me. Haiz...

I don't know how much he loves me, and no matter what he told me, I still don't know whether to believe it or not. Coz, right now, seems like i'm the shadow lover type. Wahahahahaha.....So scary....Seriously cannot let him know about this.

We both still waiting for his parents approval also. I wonder what's the result. He seems so busy to tell his parents also. Age gap, religion, and distance...3 factors as the obstacles.

Sometimes when I thought that, "Nah...he doesnt loves me".....he sure will call me...seems like he can read my mind....can read that actually at that moment I miss him and think of him. Weird right? Today is not the exception as well....just about when i think of him, he straight call me and said that he couldn't sms me.

The best part last time was on 10th May, when suddenly that afternoon, I missed him so much and kept thinking of him, and even pictured him in my mind. Crazy huh? And not long after that, he sms me, "Me:Can i pray that ukm will accept if i leave her or she meet a man that better than me, AND we can be together. Raymona: Yes" <-- That really sounded crazy coz he also monologued with himself. And that night he really break up with the UKM girl.

The more I know him, the more I can't get rid of him from my mind. This might not be the 1st experience for me, but this time is totally different from the previous experienced. The first time I'm having someone with the same thought with me! Like he said, "Talking to you just like talking to another me". Missing him is like missing myself. Real crazy right? But that's the fact.

But still, the best moment that I will never forget was during the potluck day. That's the first time he really treated me like his real gf. Yes, indeed....I still can pictured the moment, I still can pictured people around us, how surprised they were that time, hahahaha.....and he really....ah....can't say it in word....but i can say...i fall in love with him once again that time.

Who said only with 'sex' or 'intimate' relationship then you can love that person so much until night and day also keep thinking of that person? Nope....we both prove that tho' without touching each other, the feeling of loving, missing, thinking each other still so strong. And do you believe that...even until now we never hold hands. Wahahahahaha....well...the Tioman Trip under the sea was an exception.

My housemates said that I'm so lucky...eh..no....so geng, so hebat to have him as my bf....and they labelled him as 'Mr.Nice Guy'. But I did pray to God to grant me someone like him also. But does he really that Mr.Nice Guy or Mr.Innocent? I dont think so. The way he msg his girl friends in FB, the way he talked to the girl at that restaurant, during K.O.T when he talked to my batch, during KOAM seminar when he played with Ana's handbag, they both seems like flirting each other that time...not to mention how he react with his ex-gf. Conclusion...he's not that Mr.Innocent. Just that both of us, when see each other, we restrain ourselves to go further. Weird right? How come? *Shrug* I don't know the answer.

I always wanted to ask him about all these.....why with me is different....but why I couldn't say the words? And he told me..he really protect our relationship. And he said, the more we never hold each other hands, the feeling of missing me growing bigger. Weird?

Anyway....sis Lucyia is coming now. I need to go. Ciao...