:: My Little Wish ::

I'm reserve this page for the title. I wish...I wish...I wish....I feel like I want to cry, but no tears come out.....I wish to be the first, but I can't. Why....why.....others are much more special? Why.....why I have nothing? I wish there's something that I can remind me of him. It's okay Ray.....you're the later....the one that coming later....so you have to accept it... Keep it for yourself okay.....It's not a healthy thinking.....

Wahahahaha....stop jiwang-jiwang.....it's just a song title. :p Cheers!!!!

Title : My Little Wish

I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow
And each road leads you where you want to go
And if you're faced with the choice and you have to choose
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you

And if one door opens to another door closed
I hope you keep on walkin' 'til you find the window
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile
But more than anything, more than anything

My wish for you
Is that this life becomes all that you want it to
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small
You never need to carry more than you can hold

And while you're out there gettin' where you're gettin' to
I hope you know somebody loves you
And wants the same things too
Yeah, this is my wish

I hope you never look back but you never forget
All the ones who love you and the place you left
I hope you always forgive and you never regret
And you help somebody every chance you get

Oh, you'd find God's grace in every mistake
And always give more than you take
But more than anything, yeah more than anything

My wish for you
Is that this life becomes all that you want it to
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small
You never need to carry more than you can hold

And while you're out there gettin' where you're gettin' to
I hope you know somebody loves you
And wants the same things too
Yeah, this is my wish, yeah yeah

My wish for you
Is that this life becomes all that you want it to
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small
You never need to carry more than you can hold

And while you're out there gettin' where you're gettin' to
I hope you know somebody loves you
And wants the same things too
Yeah, this is my wish
(My wish for you)

This is my wish
(My wish for you)
I hope you know somebody loves you
(My wish for you)
May all your dreams stay big
(My wish for you)

:: The Laziness Inside Me ::

Argghhh......i am so lazy! What should I do to get rid of this laziness? I still got 8 assignments that I haven't touch, not even a bit! And the holiday is almost over! What happen to me? Why am I so lazy? Arggghhhhh.....kill me...shoot me.....arrgghhhh......

Just now Auntie Agnes called me and asked whether I will join the cellgroup meeting tonite and I said I can't join, as I still have so many things to do. Haiz~Actually I really wish to join. And then Auntie Mary Law sms me telling the venue for tonite cellgroup meeting. Argghhh......I wish to join.....I want to join....oh God....how nice if I dont have any assignments during holiday....how nice if I really enjoyed my holiday without worrying about assignments....I just want to serve God during holiday. *sad mode*

Another thing now, how am I going to carry all my stuff this coming Sunday? Arghhh...seriously I don't want to go back to campus. I hate to see IPBA. Haiz~ Fast...fast...time flies till end of the year....fast...fast...bye bye IPBA.

Whenever I do my assignment, I remember the incident that I went out with sayang, a night before my last day in campus, before holiday. That was really critical time for me. Sayang was helping me, typing my Science worksheets and tasksheets. And I was busy with the lesson plan. I knew that I'm going to be a teacher, since last year, coz I did dream of this, and I knew that I will get a bf with teacher profession. Last year I didn't believe this, but this year my dreamed becomes real.

If without him, I didn't know what will happen to me during Science Micro teaching. At least I managed to do everything (by the help of my sayang as well). Thanks sayang....I will never forget this. We did our work in McD until 6am! We not even sleep, go back home to take bath and go to campus. And I still remember that even during IPD class, I still cutting my teaching-aids. Hahahahaha....and Pn. Zahanin said, "Raymona....." and i had to admit, "Maaf puan. Tapi jangan risau puan, saya dengar apa yang puan ajar...." and she said, "I know....." Pheww.....she's really understanding.

At McD that time, suddenly strike me when I recalled my dream, exactly like what happen that time. And deep inside me i said, "How nice to have a partner in life as a teacher; also a TESL teacher. Can do lesson plan together, can discuss together, can do teaching-aids together." And last year, before I apply KPLI, deep within I already imagined to have a bf as a teacher, but of coz that time was just a dream only coz I didn't believe in love. ZzzZzz...

And during doing the KRS logbook. At least my sayang was helping me to draw a picture. Hmm...I mean I can keep the drawing and carry it everywhere even after I posting next time. :-)

Oh, I did feel guilty, the next day I went out with sayang again to watch a midnight movie, and after movie, I asked him to accompany me to have supper (at 3 am)...and his nose bleeding that time. Ah...was that because of not even sleep at all the day before? I was so selfish right? I want to be with him and I demand a lot. Haiz~

In future, I'm going to compensate all these. I will take care of him..properly....that's my promise (a life time promise).

Orait...I should stop being lazy. Jiayou...jiayou Kidz.....you can do it....8 assignments is nothing....Let's start doing the assignment.....(hmmm....do I need to take a noon nap first?) Hehehehehe.......tonite is sentri time....I must complete all the assignments. God..please give me the strength, give me the knowledge so that I can answer the questions easily....and give me an inspiration too God. Please.....thank you God for all the blessing. Amen.

Yooossshhhh....time to take bath....taking a few hours nap.....and then will start the sentri. Muackkksss....I love you Kidz....hahaha....I love you sayang. ^^

Sarawak Vs Terengganu

Orait....I have a reason to put on this title. Thought about this since yesterday but I was too lazy to get up and switch on my laptop. And actually I was thinking of putting the title as Terengganu Vs Sarawak, but then again, nah.....let me put it in another way round. Hahahaha....

Eh....before I continue my writing, first of all, I want to say, "My Kombucha!!! *cries* My Kombucha!!!!" Early morning when I get up I straight go to kitchen to check on my Kombucha, but mom already shifted the place, she put it inside a big jug and she even told me that the old water, she poured it inside the jug already. Wahhhhhhh!!!!! My Kombucha!!!!! That old Kombucha already ripe and the water can be used....and now mom brew a new one....which mean i have to wait for another 14 days before I can harvest it and use the water. *cries* See....this is what happen when never consult me. Haiz~ Nevermind then.....thing already happened...no point to be mad also....just accept the fact that I cannot use the water until for another 14 days. *cries*

Oh....okay....that's just another side topic, nothing to do with the title. Hahahaha.... Like this actually, yesterday I talked to sayang, and then I asked him few terms in Terengganu. Like what is that mean by 'Kemah'? And he told me Kemah = Bagus. Kemah Keming = Bagus Sangat.

Okay, I can remember that. Funny thing about Terengganu language, at the back of 'n' we can add 'g', for example Makan Ikan....it becomes Makang Ikang. Hahahahaha.....funny right? And then, yesterday sayang told me, Kemas, the pronunciation will become Kemah. So, i learn a new thing... 's' we can substitute it with 'h'. For example Ganas will become Ganah. Oh ya.....Lemas will become Lemah. Wahahahahahahaha.....hillarious..... Kemah doh tu.....kemah...kemah..... :p

But then, he told me, when he heard Iban language, everything he heard is like Ketiketiketik....it's like the inside forest sound. Wahahahaha......Just because sometimes I like to talk fast, to make it sounds hard to hear. :p

Here are some Iban Languages (the basic one):-

1. Nama berita nuan? (How are you?)

Answer : Manah / Enda berapa manah (Good / Not so good)

2. Sapa nama nuan? (What is your name?)

Answer : Nama aku ........ (My name is ........)

3. Udah makai nuan? (Have you eating, yet?)

Answer : Udah / Bedau @ Empai (Already / Not yet)

4. Udah mandi nuan? (Have you taking bath?)

Answer : Udah / Bedau @ Empai (Already / Not yet)

5. Kemaya nuan ka tinduk? (When do you want to sleep?)

Answer : Legi / Diatu / Empai ka tinduk (Later / Now / Still don't want to sleep yet)

6. Ka kini nuan? (Where do you want to go?)

Answer : Ka kia / Ka ke ....... / Nadai kini-kini (Want to go there / Want to go ......... / Not going anywhere)

7. Ka ngirup nuan? (Do you want to have a drink)

Answer : Tau ga / Enda ngawa @ Enda ibuh / Enggai (Sure can / It's okay / Don't want)

And this is Sarawak Language :

1. Apa berita kitak @ Apa khabar tek? (How are you?)

Answer : Bagus / Sik berapa bagus (Good / Not so good)

2. Sapa nama kitak? (What's your name?)

Answer : Nama kamek....... (My name is ......)

3. Dah makan kitak tek? (Have you eating, yet?)

Answer : Dah /Belum (Already / Not yet)

4. Dah mandi kitak tek? (Have you taking bath?)

Answer : Dah / Belum (Already / Not yet)

5. Bila kitak mok tido tok? (When do you want to sleep?)

Answer : Kinek tok / Kelak / Belum mok tido gik (Now / Later / Still don't want to sleep yet)

6. Mau pegi sine kitak? (Where do you want to go?)

Answer : Pegi sia / Mau pegi..... / Sik pegi sine-sine (Go there / Want to go ...... / Not going anywhere)

7. Mok minum kitak kah? (Do you want to have a drink)

Answer : Boleh juak / Sikda hal la @ Sik hal la / Sik mauk (Sure can / It's okay / Don't want)

And for Melanau language....i'm not really that expert in Melanau since grandpa past away, nobody speak Melanau with me anymore, so the knowledge just decay like that.

Temuk = Bath

Sai ngadan mo? (What's your name?)

Keman = Eat

Tutang anum = Drink water

Tudui = Sleep

Me' miak = Shameless

Badik ateng = Very stupid

Jah = One

Duah = Two

Telo = Three

Pat = Four

Limah = Five

Anem = Six

Tuju = Seven

Ayen = Eight

Ulan = Nine

Puluan = Ten

Kombucha

Kombucha is a living health drink made by fermenting tea and sugar with the kombucha culture. The result can taste like something between sparkling apple cider and champagne, depending on what kind of tea you use. It's not what you'd imagine fermented tea to taste like.

The origins of Kombucha have become lost in the mists of time. It is thought to have originated in the Far East, probably China, and has been consumed there for at least two thousand years. The first recorded use of kombucha comes from China in 221 BC during the Tsin Dynasty. It was known as "The Tea of Immortality".

It has been used in Eastern Europe, Russia and Japan for several centuries. It's from Japan in 415 AD that the name kombucha is said to have come. A Korean physician called Kombu or Kambu treated the Emperor Inyko with the tea and it took his name, "Kombu" and "cha" meaning tea. Russia has a long tradition of using a healing drink called "Tea Kvass" made from a "Japanese Mushroom".

From Russia it spread to Prussia, Poland, Germany and Denmark but it seems to have died out during World War Two. After the war Dr Rudolph Skelnar created renewed interest in kombucha in Germany when he used it in his practice to treat cancer patients, metabolic disorders, high blood pressure and diabetes.

The Kombucha Culture

The Kombucha culture looks like a beige or white rubbery pancake. It's often called a 'scoby' which stands for ' symbiotic culture of bacteria and yeasts.The culture is placed in sweetened black or green tea and turns a bowl full of sweet tea into a bowl full of vitamins, minerals, enzymes and health-giving organic acids.

As the Kombucha culture digests the sugar it produces a range of organic acids like glucuronic acid, gluconic acid, lactic acid, acetic acid, butyric acid, malic acid and usnic acid; vitamins, particularly B vitamins and vitamin C; as well as amino acids, enzymes. And of course there are all the benefits of the probiotic microorganisms themselves. The Kombucha culture is a biochemical powerhouse in your kitchen.

You might wonder if fermenting tea with yeasts would produce an alcoholic beverage. It's a good question. The yeasts do produce alcohol but the bacteria in the culture turn the alcohol to organic acids. Only minute quantities of alcohol, typically 1% by volume remains in the kombucha brew.

With every brew you make the kombucha forms a new layer or scoby on the surface of the liquid. These can be left to thicken the scoby or can be divided, giving you spare cultures that you can store in some sweet tea in the fridge in case something should happen to your active culture. Or you might want to pass on spare Kombucha cultures to friends or use a new scoby to start another batch of kombucha.

Kombucha and Health

Many health claims are made for kombucha but there is less research on the benefits of kombucha than there is on fermented milk products. It has certainly been shown to have similar antibiotic, antiviral and anti fungal properties in lab tests. In rats it’s been shown to protect against stress and improve liver function. There is a lot of experiential evidence from people who have been using kombucha over many years. Many of the benefits reported include improvements in energy levels, metabolic disorders, allergies, cancer, digestive problems, candidiasis, hypertension, HIV, chronic fatigue and arthritis. It ‘s also used externally for skin problems and as a hair wash among other things.

The Organic Acids

Glucuronic acid

The body's most important detoxifier. When toxins enter the liver this acid binds them to it and flushes them out through the kidneys. Once bound by glucuronic acid toxins cannot escape. A product of the oxidation process of glucose, glucuronic acid is one of the more significant constituents of Kombucha. As a detoxifying agent it's one of the few agents that can cope with pollution from the products of the petroleum industry, including all the plastics, herbicides, pesticides and resins. It kidnaps the phenols in the liver, which are then eliminated easily by the kidneys. Kombucha can be very helpful for allergy sufferers. Another by-product of glucuronic acid are the glucosamines, the structures associated with cartilage, collagen and the fluids which lubricate the joints. It is this function that makes Kombucha so effective against arthritis.

Lactic Acid

Essential for the digestive system. Assist blood circulation, helps prevent bowel decay and constipation. Aids in balancing acids and alkaline in the body and believed to help in the prevention of cancer by helping to regulate blood pH levels.

Acetic Acid

A powerful preservative and it inhibits harmful bacteria.

Usnic Acid

A natural antibiotic that can be effective against many viruses.

Oxalic Acid

An effective preservative and encourages the intercellular production of energy.

Malic acid

Helps detoxify the liver.

Gluconic Acid

Produced by the bacteria, it can break down to caprylic acid is of great benefit to sufferers of candidiasis and other yeast infections such as thrush.

Butyric acid

Produced by the yeast, protects human cellular membranes and combined with Gluconic acid strengthens the walls of the gut to combat yeast infections like candida.

Types of Tea for Kombucha

Kombucha requires tea for its fermentation (Camellia Sinensis). That's real tea not herbal tea. It can be also be sensitive to strong aromatic oils. A tea like Earl Grey that contains Bergamot oil, can sometimes kill or badly affect the culture. There are several different kinds of tea that give different results from lighter tastes to stronger more cider like tastes.Black Tea

Black tea is made from leaves that have been fully fermented. The leaf is spread out and left to wilt naturally, before being fired, producing a deep, rich flavour and an amber brew.

Oolong Tea

Oolong tea is half way between green tea and black tea. It's gently rolled after picking and allowed to partially ferment until the edges of the leaves start to turn brown. Oolong combines the taste and colour of black and green tea.

Green Tea

Green tea is withered then steamed or heated to prevent oxidation and then rolled and dried. It is characterized by a delicate taste, light green colour. The Japanese tea Sencha makes an especially fine kombucha.

White Tea

White Tea is the rarest and most delicate of tea. Plucked forty-eight hours or less between the time the first buds become fully mature and the time they open. Unlike black and green teas, white tea isn't rolled or steamed, but simply aired dried in the sun, this preserves more of its antioxidant properties. White tea has about three times as many antioxidant polyphenols as green. White tea represents the least processed form of tea.

:: St. Francis of Assisi ::

Stories About St. Francis

and the Animals

Stories abound of how St. Francis of Assisi (1182-1226) could communicate with animals and felt at one with all creation. Here are a few of the stories that were first recorded by Thomas of Celano during the 13th century. —retold by John Feister

St. Francis Preaches to the Birds

Father Francis and his companions were making a trip through the Spoleto Valley near the town of Bevagna. Suddenly, Francis spotted a great number of birds of all varieties. There were doves, crows and all sorts of birds. Swept up in the moment, Francis left his friends in the road and ran after the birds, who patiently waited for him. He greeted them in his usual way, expecting them to scurry off into the air as he spoke. But they moved not.

Filled with awe, he asked them if they would stay awhile and listen to the Word of God. He said to them: “My brother and sister birds, you should praise your Creator and always love him: He gave you feathers for clothes, wings to fly and all other things that you need. It is God who made you noble among all creatures, making your home in thin, pure air. Without sowing or reaping, you receive God’s guidance and protection.”

At this the birds began to spread their wings, stretch their necks and gaze at Francis, rejoicing and praising God in a wonderful way according to their nature. Francis then walked right through the middle of them, turned around and came back, touching their heads and bodies with his tunic.

Then he gave them his blessing, making the sign of the cross over them. At that they flew off and Francis, rejoicing and giving thanks to God, went on his way.

Later, Francis wondered aloud to his companions why he had never preached to birds before. And from that day on, Francis made it his habit to solicitously invoke all birds, all animals and reptiles to praise and love their Creator. And many times during Francis’ life there were remarkable events of Francis speaking to the animals. There was even a time when St. Francis quieted a flock of noisy birds that were interrupting a religious ceremony! Much to the wonder of all present, the birds remained quiet until Francis’ sermon was complete.

St. Francis, Rabbits and Fish

One day a brother brought a rabbit who had been caught in a trap to St. Francis. Francis advised the rabbit to be more alert in the future, then released the rabbit from the trap and set it on the ground to go its way. But the rabbit hopped back up onto Francis’ lap, desiring to be close to the saint.

Francis took the rabbit a few steps into the woods and set it down. But it followed Francis back to his seat and hopped on his lap again! Finally Francis asked one of his fellow friars to take the rabbit far into the woods and let it go. That worked. This type of thing happened repeatedly to Francis—which he saw as an opportunity to praise the glory of God. If the simplest creatures could be so endowed with God’s wonder, how much the more so we humans!

Fish were also known to obey Francis. Whenever a fish was caught and Francis was nearby, he would return the fish to the water, warning it not to be caught again. On several occasions the fish would linger awhile near the boat, listening to Francis preach, until he gave them permission to leave. Then they would swim off. In every work of art, as St. Francis called all creation, he would praise the artist, our loving Creator.

St. Francis and the Wolf

Perhaps the most famous story of St. Francis is when he tamed the wolf that was terrorizing the people of Gubbio. While Francis was staying in that town he learned of a wolf so ravenous that it was not only killing and eating animals, but people, too. The people took up arms and went after it, but those who encountered the wolf perished at its sharp teeth. Villagers became afraid to leave the city walls.

Francis had pity on the people and decided to go out and meet the wolf. He was desperately warned by the people, but he insisted that God would take care of him. A brave friar and several peasants accompanied Francis outside the city gate. But soon the peasants lost heart and said they would go no farther.

Francis and his companion began to walk on. Suddenly the wolf, jaws agape, charged out of the woods at the couple. Francis made the Sign of the Cross toward it. The power of God caused the wolf to slow down and to close its mouth.

Then Francis called out to the creature: “Come to me, Brother Wolf. In the name of Christ, I order you not to hurt anyone.” At that moment the wolf lowered its head and lay down at St. Francis’ feet, meek as a lamb.

St. Francis explained to the wolf that he had been terrorizing the people, killing not only animals, but humans who are made in the image of God. “Brother Wolf,” said Francis, “I want to make peace between you and the people of Gubbio. They will harm you no more and you must no longer harm them. All past crimes are to be forgiven.”

The wolf showed its assent by moving its body and nodding its head. Then to the absolute surprise of the gathering crowd, Francis asked the wolf to make a pledge. As St. Francis extended his hand to receive the pledge, so the wolf extended its front paw and placed it into the saint’s hand. Then Francis commanded the wolf to follow him into town to make a peace pact with the townspeople. The wolf meekly followed St. Francis.

By the time they got to the town square, everyone was there to witness the miracle. With the wolf at his side, Francis gave the town a sermon on the wondrous and fearful love of God, calling them to repent from all their sins. Then he offered the townspeople peace, on behalf of the wolf. The townspeople promised in a loud voice to feed the wolf. Then Francis asked the wolf if he would live in peace under those terms. He bowed his head and twisted his body in a way that convinced everyone he accepted the pact. Then once again the wolf placed its paw in Francis’ hand as a sign of the pact.

From that day on the people kept the pact they had made. The wolf lived for two years among the townspeople, going from door to door for food. It hurt no one and no one hurt it. Even the dogs did not bark at it. When the wolf finally died of old age, the people of Gubbio were sad. The wolf’s peaceful ways had been a living reminder to them of the wonders, patience, virtues and holiness of St. Francis. It had been a living symbol of the power and providence of the living God.

My Diary...

Yesterday he called me and we talked for 58 minutes 18 seconds. The day before we talked for 1 hour 57 minutes 16 seconds.

It's always a warm feeling whenever I talked to him. And yesterday he sounded so sad and down. He told me that he told his mom about us and when his mom heard that I'm from Sarawak, she said NO. She said about too far, and talked about money spending issue.

See....3 obstacles that we need to confront...I put 'the distance' in No.3 and yet that's already the biggest issue for her mom. I wonder what happen when she knows the No. 1 and No. 2 obstacles that I listed down? Haiz~

Terharu and I almost cried when he told me that he told his mom, "Kalau saya nak kahwin, kena ada restu dari mak juga." And his mom didn't say a word. He's a good son. Just imagine if i'm in his situation and my parents oppose me, I'll bet I'm going to take rebel.

I hope everything is going to be alright. I really pity him. He has to confront the situation alone. And yesterday he asked me, "Do you still love me?" And I answered, "Of coz I still love you." Sayang don't worry that, no matter what, you still the best. Even if we have no jodoh, I will still love you because...so far you're the best and different from the others.

So lucky the girl that marry you someday....and I'm going to slap that girl if she doesn't know how to appreciate you. And I'm going to be jealous too... *cries* Just wish that the lucky girl is me.

:: Reasons Why I Like Him ::

He's a good guy

He's smart

He's religious

He always understand me

He knows how to cheer me up

He's cute in his way

He can play guitar

He is caring

He is so loving

He is soft spoken

He is kind hearted

He has a soft heart; but he is quite stubborn

He always listened to me

He's matured for his age

Sometimes he looks nerd but I like it

He has many friends who like him

He likes what I like

He likes purple

He likes girl's stuff

He's a sensitive guy

He's a coward when it comes to watching horror movie

He can cry; and I wish to comfort him

He's a funny guy

He's a neat guy..all his works are very neat

He's good at drawing

He and his housemates always cook at home

He can help tidy a house

He's a degree holder

He's a teacher

And I love everything about him

But above all....

He loves me so much and I love him as much too..

Because of whoever he is...HE IS STILL THE BEST!!!

Today's Event

:: New hand fan ::

:: Orang Ulu costume that I bought today ::

:: Dinner for tonite; sambal petai, mix vege consist of mushroom and daun sabung and Ikan Jelawat masak asam pedas ::

Agendas for today:

1. 8.30 am go to church

2. 9.30 am go to Kanowit to find orang ulu costume

3. 11.30 am go to Durin and found orang ulu costume, bought it for RM180

4. 12.14 pm, call sayang, he's on the way to Muazam sending sister; driving.

5. Go to Sibu Jaya and bought the bead's hat for RM40 and the necklace RM11.

6. Go Sibu Jaya's market.

7. Reach home around 3pm, and a short while later, aunties and uncle from Miri reached.

8. Go to grandma's house.

9. Go back around 5pm.

10.Right now starving, waiting for dinner, so just login to blog a while and post something.

11.Is missing sayang..but he doesnt know that.

12. Later sis Lucyia will come to my house.

13. Wish that I can sleep or have time with myself, alone.

8.38pm, while waiting for sis Lucyia to come, i look at his pictures that is inside this laptop. Haiz....what happen actually? Does he meant for me? I always pray to God, if he is meant for me, make him closer to me but if he is not meant for me, just comfort me so that I can accept my fate. But how come, the feeling is getting stronger? Why I keep thinking of him? And why when I look at his pictures, make me miss him so much? This is really crazy...it seems like I'm the one that is so hopeless, so 'angau'....hahaha...just like a shadow lover. Weh....like this cannot be....I can't let him know about this. He might laugh at me. People said if we love somebody, reserve 60% for ourselves. How about me? How many percent I reserved for myself? Seems like none to me. Haiz...

I don't know how much he loves me, and no matter what he told me, I still don't know whether to believe it or not. Coz, right now, seems like i'm the shadow lover type. Wahahahahaha.....So scary....Seriously cannot let him know about this.

We both still waiting for his parents approval also. I wonder what's the result. He seems so busy to tell his parents also. Age gap, religion, and distance...3 factors as the obstacles.

Sometimes when I thought that, "Nah...he doesnt loves me".....he sure will call me...seems like he can read my mind....can read that actually at that moment I miss him and think of him. Weird right? Today is not the exception as well....just about when i think of him, he straight call me and said that he couldn't sms me.

The best part last time was on 10th May, when suddenly that afternoon, I missed him so much and kept thinking of him, and even pictured him in my mind. Crazy huh? And not long after that, he sms me, "Me:Can i pray that ukm will accept if i leave her or she meet a man that better than me, AND we can be together. Raymona: Yes" <-- That really sounded crazy coz he also monologued with himself. And that night he really break up with the UKM girl.

The more I know him, the more I can't get rid of him from my mind. This might not be the 1st experience for me, but this time is totally different from the previous experienced. The first time I'm having someone with the same thought with me! Like he said, "Talking to you just like talking to another me". Missing him is like missing myself. Real crazy right? But that's the fact.

But still, the best moment that I will never forget was during the potluck day. That's the first time he really treated me like his real gf. Yes, indeed....I still can pictured the moment, I still can pictured people around us, how surprised they were that time, hahahaha.....and he really....ah....can't say it in word....but i can say...i fall in love with him once again that time.

Who said only with 'sex' or 'intimate' relationship then you can love that person so much until night and day also keep thinking of that person? Nope....we both prove that tho' without touching each other, the feeling of loving, missing, thinking each other still so strong. And do you believe that...even until now we never hold hands. Wahahahahaha....well...the Tioman Trip under the sea was an exception.

My housemates said that I'm so lucky...eh..no....so geng, so hebat to have him as my bf....and they labelled him as 'Mr.Nice Guy'. But I did pray to God to grant me someone like him also. But does he really that Mr.Nice Guy or Mr.Innocent? I dont think so. The way he msg his girl friends in FB, the way he talked to the girl at that restaurant, during K.O.T when he talked to my batch, during KOAM seminar when he played with Ana's handbag, they both seems like flirting each other that time...not to mention how he react with his ex-gf. Conclusion...he's not that Mr.Innocent. Just that both of us, when see each other, we restrain ourselves to go further. Weird right? How come? *Shrug* I don't know the answer.

I always wanted to ask him about all these.....why with me is different....but why I couldn't say the words? And he told me..he really protect our relationship. And he said, the more we never hold each other hands, the feeling of missing me growing bigger. Weird?

Anyway....sis Lucyia is coming now. I need to go. Ciao...