Just a crap talk...

I just feel like i wanna write something here...maybe just to kill my boredom. Gawai....i'm not sure whether it's a good idea for me. I'm trying to forget someone, i tried to be happy and to enjoy myself, but yet my mind still thinking of him. I just wonder how is he now? How is his Gawai celebration? I'm not suppose to think of this as i bet he will never think of me. Does he? Hmm....

Yesterday was a happy day. My colleagues came to visit my house, and then we went to Angela's and Sharon's house. Super full!!! Then when i reached home, mom called me and asked me to join them. We really having fun....i mean having fun as in singing. This year i was surprised with myself.....i dont drink much....i guess....i only drink 1 glass of beer (that's becoz mom cant finish her) and half small cup of tuak.

Maybe I am so obsessed with him right now? Everywhere I go, his visual keeps lingering, plus everybody around me also someone he knows. Especially when I saw Payung's sister, Philomena, really remind me of him. Last time i remember he told me during Youth Camp, they played one game...they need to write down someone name that they hate, and Philo wrote his name on a piece of paper. And the reason was, becoz he is a playboy. Lol! Then he also told me that last time Philo invited him to her house. Hmm.... But he told me he didnt go.

Well, the youth must be closed to him, and thats why whenever i saw them, always remind me of him. :-(

I talked to Pauline about him (i didnt mention his name) just now....and Pauline said, "Don't rush....trust the love.." Yes.....thats what i'm suppose to do. After all, i know he will look for me. (Are you sure?) Hmm.....pretty much sure.....but if he doesnt, then on 17th I must sms to him, well....it's up to him whether he wanna go out with me or not. Plus he promised me to join me during Sport Day. Will he keeps the promise? Hmm....

Sometimes i think, i think so much.....why cant i have a simple minded like Luffy? :-(

It's okay....it's alright.....everything gonna be fine. What i need to do now is.....act like normal....do my routine like i never met him before...play guitar, chat with friends, play games, sleep, read story books. Ahhh....what a simple life i have. ^^

God.....please grant me peace in my mind. Okay..okay....i cant lie to myself....I miss him. Lol! It's weird.....already met him, already went out with him, but yet when i reached home, i still miss him. And today, it's a 3 days in a row that i had him in my dream. 1st dream, i asked him why he comes back so early from his longhouse. 2nd day dream, i just saw him but cant remember the chat. 3rd day dream, last nite, i dream of, inside his house. I talked to his mom, and was surprised coz he invites me to his house. Yes, i can see his inside house clearly.....i wonder does it looks the same in real life? Someday i must check it out. :P

Today, i will go to longhouse. Will take lot of pictures. ^^

Eh....weird, yesterday i think a lot about him.....and i had this 'seilu-ilu' feeling. But how come today no more that kind of feeling? Hmm.....did he think of me too yesterday? Hmm....

Jamming with Siput on 29th May, 2010

Sunday, 30th May, 2010

At church...

At church...

At church...

Window shopping...

Window shopping..

Going out with Siput and her sis. As usual....shopping spree again. Haiz~ I keep spending money. :-( I bought small purse (i think worth it) for rm36.

Jogathon on 13th May 2010

Need to wake up early morning coz need to go to office before 5.45am. Reach office suddenly feel stomachache. I hate this feeling, everytime big event comes out, I will always attacked by the 'butterflies' inside my stomach. Hahahaha....

After Jogathon, while chatting with some of the colleagues, I saw Remy. Didn't expect him to appear there also. So we took picture together. Went back home around 7.30am, then at noon time, went to longhouse in Pasai area together with Mr. Jin, Sharon and Angela.

My legs started to feel cramp. The next day cant even climb down the stair without supporting. Really ZzzZzz....

I think a lot maybe?

Today is a happy day for me, but yesterday I felt a bit down. I guess i think so much about everything. Yesterday I went outstation together with Angela and boss. Luckily that was a day trip. Personally, I like the place and also the staff. I admit that i really enjoyed giving 'lecture'. And I guarantee everybody was having fun. At one point i kept laughing non-stop especially the time when i tried to draw the fronds and also the fruits. And they even giving me a stupid answer when I showed the picture of 'safety seal'. ZzzZzz...They said Pregnancy test! Hahahahaha..

I also mad at boss coz he broke the promise. He left me with the Indonesian workers and I was the one who had to 'talk' to the Indonesian workers....with my broken Indonesian language. Really ZzzZzz...

When reached home in the evening, suddenly I felt sad. I saw that 'the guy' did online in the morning and he wrote something on his FB wall, and then he wrote something on his friend wall too, telling the gal that hope they can meet up at the KLIA later. Not that I felt jealous or whatever, just i felt sad coz he didnt write anything to me. At last i end up by answering the quizzes in FB before sleep.

Today, I feel happy. Hehehe.... 'That guy' is always full of surprise. This is how i describe about him. Whenever I feel opposite about him, he will show the opposite from what i thought. Like I thought that he will never think of me, but when I read his wall, i noticed that he "likes" my post. Yea..i know it was nothing but it was something too. He clicked "like the post", the post is regarding the quiz that i took...When will i get married and the result is at age 40.

I remember what Panda said, "he still care about you even if he just write something on your wall." Yea....meaning he still care to read my wall. Hehehehe.... :P

And Siput said something like maybe he doesnt want to be so clingy or else other people will notice that something going on. Hmm....maybe... Or maybe he also waiting for me to write something to him? But at the end i did write a private message to him, I just asking how is Korea, then saying that I noticed he always online early in the morning. And then i told him about my activities for the week. It's kinda lame. ZzzZzz....

And...I wonder why when he posted something on his wall and I'm the first one to comment it (my first time to comment actually), nobody will comment anything next. Really ZzzZzz....Am i so hateful?

No matter what....I'm feeling happy...Just like he can read my mind. :P

"What does the Bible say about drinking alcohol / wine? Is it a sin for a Christian to drink alcohol / wine?"

Answer: Scripture has much to say regarding the drinking of alcohol (Leviticus 10:9; Numbers 6:3; Deuteronomy 29:6; Judges 13:4, 7, 14; Proverbs 20:1; 31:4; Isaiah 5:11, 22; 24:9; 28:7; 29:9; 56:12). However, Scripture does not necessarily forbid a Christian from drinking beer, wine, or any other drink containing alcohol. In fact, some Scriptures discuss alcohol in positive terms. Ecclesiastes 9:7 instructs, “Drink your wine with a merry heart.” Psalm 104:14-15 states that God gives wine “that makes glad the heart of men.” Amos 9:14 discusses drinking wine from your own vineyard as a sign of God’s blessing. Isaiah 55:1 encourages, “Yes, come buy wine and milk…”

What God commands Christians regarding alcohol is to avoid drunkenness (Ephesians 5:18). The Bible condemns drunkenness and its effects (Proverbs 23:29-35). Christians are also commanded to not allow their bodies to be “mastered” by anything (1 Corinthians 6:12; 2 Peter 2:19). Drinking alcohol in excess is undeniably addictive. Scripture also forbids a Christian from doing anything that might offend other Christians or encourage them to sin against their conscience (1 Corinthians 8:9-13). In light of these principles, it would be extremely difficult for any Christian to say he is drinking alcohol in excess to the glory of God (1 Corinthians 10:31).

Jesus changed water into wine. It even seems that Jesus drank wine on occasion (John 2:1-11; Matthew 26:29). In New Testament times, the water was not very clean. Without modern sanitation, the water was often filled with bacteria, viruses, and all kinds of contaminants. The same is true in many third-world countries today. As a result, people often drank wine (or grape juice) because it was far less likely to be contaminated. In 1 Timothy 5:23, Paul was instructing Timothy to stop drinking the water (which was probably causing his stomach problems) and instead drink wine. In that day, wine was fermented (containing alcohol), but not necessarily to the degree it is today. It is incorrect to say that it was grape juice, but it is also incorrect to say that it was the same thing as the wine commonly used today. Again, Scripture does not forbid Christians from drinking beer, wine, or any other drink containing alcohol. Alcohol is not, in and of itself, tainted by sin. It is drunkenness and addiction to alcohol that a Christian must absolutely refrain from (Ephesians 5:18; 1 Corinthians 6:12).

Alcohol, consumed in small quantities, is neither harmful nor addictive. In fact, some doctors advocate drinking small amounts of red wine for its health benefits, especially for the heart. Consumption of small quantities of alcohol is a matter of Christian freedom. Drunkenness and addiction are sin. However, due to the biblical concerns regarding alcohol and its effects, due to the easy temptation to consume alcohol in excess, and due to the possibility of causing offense and/or stumbling of others, it is usually best for a Christian to abstain entirely from drinking alcohol.

Haiz~

Seriously, this is not a healthy habit. I need to restrain myself. Stop being a stalker, I should act like I never know him, act like before I know him.

It's kinda funny, the more you know someone, the more you hate yourself coz knowing too much. Oh God, I dunno your intention, but I do hope please stop me from doing all these silly things. I only want the freedom, the happy life, and I have these for few months already, so please don't take it away from me and replace it with something that i cannot carry on my shoulder.

I start questioning myself, why? why me? If being a normal person is so hard until like this, I rather to choose being an alien.

I always do wish that I have my twinz personality in me. I'm trying to act cool but guess it doesnt work. Maybe I need to sleep more...sleep...sleep...sleep...to forget everything.

Just please God.....it's killing me....just please grant me peace in my heart.

It's My Life

Wow....everything is wow today! Yesterday I told Panda about 'that guy' and he suggested to me to check maybe he got FB. At first i told Panda...impossible someone like him will have FB. Anyway, last night I was doing something else, so i forgot about FB. But before sleep last night I already thought of that but too lazy to check.

Only today I tried and yesss...i found him. Well....at first the search come out with so many names.....but dunno why suddenly i think of putting "Sibu" in front and come out with 1 search result...which is him!!!! Woot...

I added him as friend in FB, and after back from work, i checked and he posted something on my wall, "thnx for add.." so i replied, "np. ^^ shalom" and then he replied back "=)"

And at first i thought wanna send private message to him regarding his writing on his wall regarding the sunday church dinner incident. Luckily I havent send the message to him and I saw him online. ^^ So i greeted him first with "shalom". muahahaha....and we chat!

Yes....we talked about the beer incident. Even talking about Epesus 5:18. ZzzZzz....I wonder its kinda weird....as i opened the page and saw the sentence about "perkahwinan di Kana" so I told him about that and he said, "I already predicted you will say that."

Okay...before I forgot, I must write it down here what he thinks about me :-

1. He said he was surprised to see me in FB and he recognized me at once.

2. He said he looked at my camera on Saturday and tried to control his smile but I didnt take his picture. :P

3. He noticed me on Saturday, busy taking photos. (i think he knew a bit about me before....as he said he heard people talking about me always taking photos for church event)

4. On Sunday, he said he almost wanna asked whether I have FB or blog when I mentioned about internet. It just like both of our wish being granted. ^^ So with this I shoot back at him, "Ketentuan Tuhan."

5. He asked whether I'm single or not. Hahahaha.....Dont ask my age, but I bet he knew. :P

6. The chatroom in FB down but we still chatting via private message in FB. It's funny when he told me one gal doesnt know who he is...asking him to serve the 'drink'. Hahahaha.....

7. He said once he back from Korea, I can chat about anything with him. Hmm.....just like he's making another 'date' with me? O.o

8. Last thing, he promised he will buy something for me from Korea. O.o (woot....really...???)

9. Oh, speaking of chatting, asking, sharing, discussing with him, he asked why I didnt ask/talk to him while he was in front of me instead of chatting in FB? <--i ignored his question. :P

Yea...i guess God has His own intention. Siput....remember I told you that I had him in my dream? Some more continuously dreaming of him....it's really connected to him. Same wish.... Hahahaha....Noo...I wont give him my blog page, or else he will read all these writings.

Tomorrow he will go to Korea for 1 week....till then I wont contact him....and see these will lead to what next. But he did mention to me, he will always go from one place to one place as God's servant. ^^