To Kill My Boredom

Simba and Lionel. Both also so cute. Why I like these cute little lions? Coz during our 1st outing, he accompany me to 1Utama to buy hand puppets and I found Lionel there. I bought Lionel for myself and bought Simba for his birthday present.

Same goes to this picture. Err...I mean the smile...Hahahaha....

Quite messy but I like the smile!

Oh, alright, my sayang and some of his close friends.(From left to right : Mohd Zulfadli, sayang, Azizul and Deskandar) Guy is totally different from girl. I like to see them together. I hope that I'm not the one that breaking their bonds. I am just a newcomer. ZzzZzz...

Why I like this picture? Because of the color! There's one good thing about Hari Raya celebration, everybody will wear new clothes. Too bad for me because I never bother to buy a new cloth for myself during festival.

Telling mom - I'm back!!!

I reached my hometown yesterday night. And I told mom about my relationship with him. At first mom was like, "whoaaa..." but then after I reasoned everything with mom, only then realized that mom actually don't really bother with religion issue but actually she just worried that I won't be back anymore. Hmm...

But really glad that I told mom everything. Told mom how I met him. And don't you think that the funny thing is....mom never bother to ask how does he looks like. But I know mom, she won't bother with appearance also. The most important thing is, I'm happy. And right now, I am really happy being with him.

Why do I like him? How come I can fall for him? Love is always a mysterious thing. We never know when it will strike us.

I want to write more about him here, but I'm lazy to arrange my words and type it out. Maybe I should just attached my convo. with him in YM, or the sms, or his email. There're few things that made him special to me like 'let me color your life', 'i'm with you', 'cukup duit belanja tak?' and few more. His words always touched me. Nobody ever treated me nicely like how he treated me. Tho' it was just a word from him (or just a sweet talk) but whatever it is, it touched my heart. I'm so glad that God let him entered my life, and I promise myself, I'm going to do my best for this relationship.

I'm glad that I'm telling mom about him and glad that I have a very supportive mother. Right now I wonder what is his parents' impression toward me? Age gap, religion issue, hometown issue, there's so many obstacles.

I prayed to God, if he really meant for me, please make him close to me, but if he is not meant for me, please comfort my heart and to accept my fate. But no matter how, he's getting closer to me and the love towards him is growing. So, is he the one for me?

The words from UKM girl also really touched my heart when she said, 'sy sedar ianya berpunca dari kesalahan dan kesilapan sy sendiri, namun logikkah penyelesaian yang diambil oleh si dia? tiada kata putus yang diambil, malah menerima insan lain sebagai kekasih hati tanpa memberitahu kepada sy, sedangkan ketika itu, sy masih lagi dilabelkan sebagai "gurlfren" nya...mana sifat ehsan dia? andai dia tahu ianya terlalu menyakitkan...

dia memilih seorang perempuan non-muslim, sebagai pengganti sy, menjadikan sy lebih tercabar dan rasa terhina. adakah dalam kepala dia, sy ini lebih teruk dari org yang bukan Islam? pada mulanya memang sy tidak boleh terima, tapi siapakah sy untuk melarangnya... namun, Allah tahu, sy terlalu menyayanginya..dan Allah membukakan pintu hatinya untuk kembali kepada sy... '

Why did she mention about religion? Are we that bad? ZzzZzz...But forget about that.....right now what really concerned me when she said 'Allah tahu saya terlalu menyayanginya dan Allah membukakan pintu hatinya untuk kembali kepada sy..' <-- Yes, that time he really re-declared with her again and he ditched me. I was like....it's okay....I'm nobody and worthless.

But why....if she really loves him, but why she couldn't treat him nicely and steal his heart? And, why at last they break up again, for the 2nd time? Which mean all the time his heart is actually with me.

God is really funny.....I prayed to God in a selfish way and God granted my wish. I asked God to give me the chance. But am I a bad person? Am I stealing him from the girl? Do i deserved him? And right now, I am even more selfish....i won't let go of him and I won't let the UKM girl win this fight for the 3rd time. She had enough with her chances and she wasted her chance before. I won't do the same, but will you God, blessed our relationship?

Am I sounded so desperate right now? Before this, i already claimed myself as a single person, and I don't believe in love anymore, I totally give up. But he entered my life and changed my perception toward love. I am worthy in God's eyes. This is the 1st time someone attracted to me at the first sight.

Thank God for all the blessing. Please keep protect me from the evil one and guide me always. Don't let me fall into temptation and trials.

Summarization - Why am I doing this?

It's been a long time for me not to write on this blog. On 24th May, 2011, I went out with 'him' and that was the 1st time for us to talk from heart to heart. It was not easy to open my mouth and asked about the UKM girl. I was just so curious why the girl wanted her friend to add me in FB. She wanted to know all about me, but why? So I asked him regarding this. And he told me the whole stories. Let me summarize it here:-

1. He met the UKM girl last year around May - June.

2. They declared as a couple in last year but they never met, they declared by phone.

3. They met for the first time in February 2011.

4. He bought shirt for her and she bought chocolates for him.

5. They seldom meet and the girl always scolded him and felt sulky with no reason.

6. He ever told the girl that she is the girl that always feel sulky and the worst 'sulky girl'. And she even admitted that.

7. Everytime he went to Bangi, he will buy something for her, for example, card, letter, etc.

8. They went out for movies and lunch.

9. Normally they meet during Saturday.

10.Sometimes the girl call, if not scolded, sometimes simply hang up the phone without saying good bye.

11.He met me on March, during Tioman trip.

12.Before he meets me, he already felt that the girl is really ZzzZzz.....

13.When he saw me, he wanted to know me more and the last day of Tioman trip, he walked with me to jetty and asked for my phone number coz he doesn't want to lose contact with me.

14.He still contact with the girl but the feeling is no more and at the same time, he said I always comfort him.

15.They held hands like 3 times, and the last day he met her (before break up), they also held hands.

16.He said he like me because of 'beautiness' and this is abstract.

17.25th April he broke up with the girl.

18.Before this, the girl always told him that she has so many admires and 1 of them is Firdaus. He doesn't like it. And he said, "Go for Firdaus then." But she doesn't want also.

19.26th April, the girl begged for him again.

20.29th April, last day of KOT he helped me to carry the printer and my friends teased and he said he liked it.

21.He re-declared with the girl again coz the girl begged him and cried.

22.She knows everything about me, she even stalked my FB, she even knows that I went out with him.

23.I heard she called him during the night I went for dinner with him at USJ. I could hear her voice.

24.The next day, he went to Bangi to find the girl coz she was sicked, sad and was crying. When I asked how sick was she that time, he said, not physically but heart broken only. ZzzZzz...(that's the last they met each other and did hold hands that time and he really regretted that).

25.10th May, afternoon he sms me (exactly right after I think of him).

26.He said he was inside the car, near Surau.

27.That night he broke up with the girl again. She cried, but he chose me.

28.But in email, he said he wanted to leave both (and 30 minutes later he email me again said don't want to lose me. :-) )

29.The next day, 11th May (camping trip), he proposed me to be his gf.

30.22nd May, in her FB she asked her friend to add me in FB, and told her friend I'm his new gf.

31.He said last message from her (either Saturday or Sunday) wished for his good luck in fnal exam and 'semoga berbahagia' and he replied same goes to her and she replied back, "saya benci awak". Wow! Such and answer!!!!

32.During his birthday, Saturday before his birthday and a day after finish practicum, they went out together and the girl gave him a shirt.

33.During his birthday I went out with him and gave him Simba. (really glad that i gave Simba to him)

Conclusion : It's really glad to hear the words from himself....