Gawai Open House

I need to write more here...so here we go....

Yesterday I made open house for Gawai celebration. I invited all my friends; my ex-colleagues, my best friend, Siput and also my church members. The day before, some of them texting me and said they couldn't make it since they have their own agenda.

But yesterday, first, Siput called me and she said she will be arrived at about 1 hour from the time she called me. After that when Siput arrived, Auntie Agnes called me as well, and then I said I will fetch them all in one place. After that Auntie Vero called, and Angela also called. Waaaa.....but at last I managed to gather everybody.

3 large groups come together at the same time...I hope Angela and Siput understand my situation. So sorry coz I couldn't entertain you all. The priority is always for the elders right? So glad that the church members came to visit me. Auntie Mary Law hugged me and she said she missed me a lot. Not to mention Auntie Agnes that really close to me, she passed the Scheme Of Works to me. I told them about my life as a KPLI student. And I also told them about all the blessing that I received. It's all because of their constant prayer towards me.

After church members went back, then I talked to Angela. She told me that she will get married by next year and end of this year, she will register the marriage first. Owh.....congratulation! I'm happy for her....

After Angela went back, then I talked to Siput. Hmm....i guess we were not really talking. We were more to watching tv....just so coincidence that the story was about Rentap, Iban warrior. We kept commenting the movie. We gave bad comment actually. Wahahahahaha.....so funny when they tried to talk like Sarawak people but at the end the slang become Indonesian accent. Then they tried to speak Sarawakian....wahahahaha....so hillarious.....and also tried to speak Iban. One part that so funny when the guy wanted to 'ngayap' the girl....so I asked Siput, "How does he entered the house?" And Siput told me, "By front door!" Wahahahahaha......

Then, Ivan Sia called me, he wanted to come to my house, so I said please do come. He was alone and he thought that I will be mad if he didn't go to my house during Gawai. Hmm....how come? Anyway, we talked so much, and he revealed so many things. About Ambrose (Priscilla's husband) works at Jaya Tiasa now. Then Alex Ling also resigned after I resigned. Peter becomes Assistant Manager. And uncle (my boss) always closes his door. Hmm.....so many things happen now. So I asked how was everything at work? And he said that everything change, and the situation is not like when I still work in Jaya. He said when I still there, everyday always cheerful. The environment also cheerful, but after I left, everything changed. Hmm.....is that my impact so big until like this? I never thought that people like me, always thought that I'm worthless.

And I asked Ivan whether he still chasing for his ambition to be a priest. So he told me that his grandma wants him to get married. I asked him, "Do you have a girlfriend now?" and he said, "No..." and I asked, "Do you think it is easy to find a girlfriend?" And he said,"Can, easy...just walk on the street and grab somebody." Whoaaa...... and he added,"As long as my grandma happy, then enough for me." ZzzZzzz......he sounded so sulky right now.

But I said, "No...you better go for a priest.....thats a calling for you. You will be happy..." We talked a lot about religious issue. Siput and her sister also joining us in the talk. And I really thank God that I'm getting matured now. At least I can answer the questions that direct to me. For example why we need priest inside the confession box? My answer is very simple, "The priest is like our mentor, he guides us to make a good confession. We're not confessing toward him but toward God, but he is there to help us so that we won't miss anything that we wanted to confess."

At around 4.30pm, Ivan went back and then around 5pm Siput went back. After I took my bath, then I went upstair to talk to sayang. Just realized that I get sms from him at around 3pm. He was at KL Sentral to send Des. Owh....so I told him to call me after he done with everything.

At almost 11pm he called me, and we talked like 1 hour 4 minutes and 57 seconds. ZzzZzz....I wonder how much money we spent for telephone bill. As usual, our story is like never ending one. He told me that he cried when Des went back to Sarawak. Hmm....but not crying when I went back for holiday. Hahahahaha...... Hmm...such a sensitive guy.....but I like! Hahahaha.....still remember the time when we watched Insidious together and he kept screaming while I have no feeling at all. I kept laughing at him. ZzzZzz...That's the guy that I love...

Anyway, we start saying "I love you" to each other to end our conversation. Hmm...no more awkward for that part. I wonder whether I will feel awkward to say those 3 words in front of him. Hahahaha.... But for sayang, it's still awkward for me. But I wish to call him that.

It's a good practice....I just want harmony in my family (ah....my own family)....and hope God really blessed us on this relationship. I want to practice all the good things in my family and I wish that people around us will look at us and follow our step as well. God, will You use me and him for this 'mission'? I'm okay with that coz our world now getting worse and worse... I wish to change the situation.

Engka - Ethnic Transmission

Dini nuan, kini nuan,

bisi enda lama lalu nuan lenyau

Aku berunding, nama kebuah,

nama ti ngasuh nuan kenya

Engka nya, engka tu, ngasuh tua baka tu

Engka, nuan sigi sayau ka ku,

tapi nuan malu, nadai nemu nyebut,

kati ngatur jaku, ka madah ke aku,

Tauka engka, nuan sigi nadai ati,

nuan enda peduli, nadai madah kini, ninggal ku kediri,

Engka nadai guna, aku ngiga, utai ti sigi, nadai ba dia,

Ku ka ninga, nama berita, nama gaga nuan gerai tauka enda

Tulis surat, kirim meh salam, ngambi ku nemu pagila lusa

Engka nuan teperasa, laban laya tua suba,

Engka, nadai ku di peda nuan,

engka ku berumban, mai nuan bepangan,

minta ampun sulu, semua penyalah ku,

tauka Engka, nuan kala patah ati,

nuan alit ati, nuan enda berani,

nuan enggai beraie agi

Ulih ka nuan ninga, ati aku ngumbai,

padah meh kemaya, nuan deka pulai

Engka, nuan sigi sayau ka ku,

tapi nuan malu, nadai nemu nyebut,

kati ngatur jaku, ka madah ka aku,

tauka Engka, nuan sigi nadai ati,

nuan enda peduli, nadai madah kini, ninggal ku kediri,

Engka nadai guna, aku ngiga, utai ti sigi, nadai ba dia

Gawai Celebration

3 groups come at the same time....fuhh...quite busy that time..

Baby Cyrus

Lucky the compound is big, still can park 1 more car here..

This is a naughty cat owned by Atek and BB Panjai.

Chicken curry and rendang daging....still not yet cooked.

Some of the dishes for Gawai Open House.

To Kill My Boredom

Simba and Lionel. Both also so cute. Why I like these cute little lions? Coz during our 1st outing, he accompany me to 1Utama to buy hand puppets and I found Lionel there. I bought Lionel for myself and bought Simba for his birthday present.

Same goes to this picture. Err...I mean the smile...Hahahaha....

Quite messy but I like the smile!

Oh, alright, my sayang and some of his close friends.(From left to right : Mohd Zulfadli, sayang, Azizul and Deskandar) Guy is totally different from girl. I like to see them together. I hope that I'm not the one that breaking their bonds. I am just a newcomer. ZzzZzz...

Why I like this picture? Because of the color! There's one good thing about Hari Raya celebration, everybody will wear new clothes. Too bad for me because I never bother to buy a new cloth for myself during festival.

Telling mom - I'm back!!!

I reached my hometown yesterday night. And I told mom about my relationship with him. At first mom was like, "whoaaa..." but then after I reasoned everything with mom, only then realized that mom actually don't really bother with religion issue but actually she just worried that I won't be back anymore. Hmm...

But really glad that I told mom everything. Told mom how I met him. And don't you think that the funny thing is....mom never bother to ask how does he looks like. But I know mom, she won't bother with appearance also. The most important thing is, I'm happy. And right now, I am really happy being with him.

Why do I like him? How come I can fall for him? Love is always a mysterious thing. We never know when it will strike us.

I want to write more about him here, but I'm lazy to arrange my words and type it out. Maybe I should just attached my convo. with him in YM, or the sms, or his email. There're few things that made him special to me like 'let me color your life', 'i'm with you', 'cukup duit belanja tak?' and few more. His words always touched me. Nobody ever treated me nicely like how he treated me. Tho' it was just a word from him (or just a sweet talk) but whatever it is, it touched my heart. I'm so glad that God let him entered my life, and I promise myself, I'm going to do my best for this relationship.

I'm glad that I'm telling mom about him and glad that I have a very supportive mother. Right now I wonder what is his parents' impression toward me? Age gap, religion issue, hometown issue, there's so many obstacles.

I prayed to God, if he really meant for me, please make him close to me, but if he is not meant for me, please comfort my heart and to accept my fate. But no matter how, he's getting closer to me and the love towards him is growing. So, is he the one for me?

The words from UKM girl also really touched my heart when she said, 'sy sedar ianya berpunca dari kesalahan dan kesilapan sy sendiri, namun logikkah penyelesaian yang diambil oleh si dia? tiada kata putus yang diambil, malah menerima insan lain sebagai kekasih hati tanpa memberitahu kepada sy, sedangkan ketika itu, sy masih lagi dilabelkan sebagai "gurlfren" nya...mana sifat ehsan dia? andai dia tahu ianya terlalu menyakitkan...

dia memilih seorang perempuan non-muslim, sebagai pengganti sy, menjadikan sy lebih tercabar dan rasa terhina. adakah dalam kepala dia, sy ini lebih teruk dari org yang bukan Islam? pada mulanya memang sy tidak boleh terima, tapi siapakah sy untuk melarangnya... namun, Allah tahu, sy terlalu menyayanginya..dan Allah membukakan pintu hatinya untuk kembali kepada sy... '

Why did she mention about religion? Are we that bad? ZzzZzz...But forget about that.....right now what really concerned me when she said 'Allah tahu saya terlalu menyayanginya dan Allah membukakan pintu hatinya untuk kembali kepada sy..' <-- Yes, that time he really re-declared with her again and he ditched me. I was like....it's okay....I'm nobody and worthless.

But why....if she really loves him, but why she couldn't treat him nicely and steal his heart? And, why at last they break up again, for the 2nd time? Which mean all the time his heart is actually with me.

God is really funny.....I prayed to God in a selfish way and God granted my wish. I asked God to give me the chance. But am I a bad person? Am I stealing him from the girl? Do i deserved him? And right now, I am even more selfish....i won't let go of him and I won't let the UKM girl win this fight for the 3rd time. She had enough with her chances and she wasted her chance before. I won't do the same, but will you God, blessed our relationship?

Am I sounded so desperate right now? Before this, i already claimed myself as a single person, and I don't believe in love anymore, I totally give up. But he entered my life and changed my perception toward love. I am worthy in God's eyes. This is the 1st time someone attracted to me at the first sight.

Thank God for all the blessing. Please keep protect me from the evil one and guide me always. Don't let me fall into temptation and trials.

Summarization - Why am I doing this?

It's been a long time for me not to write on this blog. On 24th May, 2011, I went out with 'him' and that was the 1st time for us to talk from heart to heart. It was not easy to open my mouth and asked about the UKM girl. I was just so curious why the girl wanted her friend to add me in FB. She wanted to know all about me, but why? So I asked him regarding this. And he told me the whole stories. Let me summarize it here:-

1. He met the UKM girl last year around May - June.

2. They declared as a couple in last year but they never met, they declared by phone.

3. They met for the first time in February 2011.

4. He bought shirt for her and she bought chocolates for him.

5. They seldom meet and the girl always scolded him and felt sulky with no reason.

6. He ever told the girl that she is the girl that always feel sulky and the worst 'sulky girl'. And she even admitted that.

7. Everytime he went to Bangi, he will buy something for her, for example, card, letter, etc.

8. They went out for movies and lunch.

9. Normally they meet during Saturday.

10.Sometimes the girl call, if not scolded, sometimes simply hang up the phone without saying good bye.

11.He met me on March, during Tioman trip.

12.Before he meets me, he already felt that the girl is really ZzzZzz.....

13.When he saw me, he wanted to know me more and the last day of Tioman trip, he walked with me to jetty and asked for my phone number coz he doesn't want to lose contact with me.

14.He still contact with the girl but the feeling is no more and at the same time, he said I always comfort him.

15.They held hands like 3 times, and the last day he met her (before break up), they also held hands.

16.He said he like me because of 'beautiness' and this is abstract.

17.25th April he broke up with the girl.

18.Before this, the girl always told him that she has so many admires and 1 of them is Firdaus. He doesn't like it. And he said, "Go for Firdaus then." But she doesn't want also.

19.26th April, the girl begged for him again.

20.29th April, last day of KOT he helped me to carry the printer and my friends teased and he said he liked it.

21.He re-declared with the girl again coz the girl begged him and cried.

22.She knows everything about me, she even stalked my FB, she even knows that I went out with him.

23.I heard she called him during the night I went for dinner with him at USJ. I could hear her voice.

24.The next day, he went to Bangi to find the girl coz she was sicked, sad and was crying. When I asked how sick was she that time, he said, not physically but heart broken only. ZzzZzz...(that's the last they met each other and did hold hands that time and he really regretted that).

25.10th May, afternoon he sms me (exactly right after I think of him).

26.He said he was inside the car, near Surau.

27.That night he broke up with the girl again. She cried, but he chose me.

28.But in email, he said he wanted to leave both (and 30 minutes later he email me again said don't want to lose me. :-) )

29.The next day, 11th May (camping trip), he proposed me to be his gf.

30.22nd May, in her FB she asked her friend to add me in FB, and told her friend I'm his new gf.

31.He said last message from her (either Saturday or Sunday) wished for his good luck in fnal exam and 'semoga berbahagia' and he replied same goes to her and she replied back, "saya benci awak". Wow! Such and answer!!!!

32.During his birthday, Saturday before his birthday and a day after finish practicum, they went out together and the girl gave him a shirt.

33.During his birthday I went out with him and gave him Simba. (really glad that i gave Simba to him)

Conclusion : It's really glad to hear the words from himself....

Testing

Testing....its been very long time I never wrote in this blog until I forgot the blog address. So lucky that I can retrieve my blog back. I will come out with a lot of juicy stories here. Just check it out!!! *wink*

Just a start...

Dear Blog,

It’s been a while that I stop writing. Anyway, I’m going to start again since I need to jot down everything that happen to me since I enter this IPG.

For the start, I’m going to tell you about my experience during orientation. *yawns* *I’m so lazy to write actually* Anyway, I received the result on 18^th January 2011. Lucky me coz Kevin told me about this. I thought the result will be out on 22^nd as per schedule. And I straight forward issued out my resignation letter – 24 hours notice of resignation. But with the help of my boss, it becomes 1 month notice of resignation. Don’t tell me how, coz I don’t want to talk about it. Hehehehe…

Anyway, 4 days are really not enough for me to settle everything; the medical check up, activate my BSN account, the air ticket some more and etc.

I managed to join music practice on Sunday before I fly to KL. Everything just so sudden…haiz~ guess that I always create havoc. Hahahaha….

Alright, talking about the orientation, 1 week orientation start on 24^th January 2011 until 28^th January 2011. It seems like from 63 thousands of people who applied for KPLI, I am among the 4,029 lucky people and in this IPG, we’re 110 that have been selected. Wow…Imagine of 27 IPG + 1 IPG induk with 4,029 people being located there. And I’ve been sent to IPGKBA – Kampus Bahasa Antarabangsa, in KL and our intake got 2 types of KPLI; KPLI-SR (BI) and KPLI-JQAF. But the JQAF people will be sent to school and they will only come back during the school holiday. And for us, we are the full timer.

Orientation was fun. We have to mix with the ustazah and the ustaz, and they all are so sporting. We have Ustaz Ver-sa-til (baku pronounciation), Ustazah Rock and also Ustazah Sammi (my room-mate, Kar Mee). I like that Ustazah Rock (forgot her name, I guess Fammi), she’s so funny. How I wish I have her enthusiastic.

Oh yeah…we also learned a new song, “Anak lah lipan, kaki nya banyak, goyang ke kiri, goyang ke kanan, hoi…” ß it’s a new song to me.

During riadah, our group lose to the other groups; well….we’re just lazy so we said, “Kami bersepakat untuk kalah.” And of coz we receive the ‘present’…..and we sing National Anthem song which causes everybody to stand up as well. Wakakakakaka…

And for closing ceremony…I become a choir’s instructor which holding the tv’s antenna.

And after the orientation, I stuck in the hostel while everybody go back to their hometown or their relatives’ house. I do nothing…RTM – Rehat, Tidur, Makan. Everyday eat maggi mee…yuck!

Tomorrow will be the last day of holiday…and I’m looking forward for BIG (Bina Insan Guru) on 9^th Feb – 12^th Feb 2011. ^^