Hahahahaha....emo mode and everything. Anyway feel better now. I didn't know that I wrote so much before. Re-read my blog in 'My Life' sub-topic. Wah.....I talked about my braces, I talked about Luffy (One Piece), I talked about the books that I've read and I also talked about my job.
I just realized that last time I always imagined myself as one of the novel character, normally I imagined myself as Emma Corrigon (in 'Can You Keep a Secret?'). The silly Executive, exactly just like me, last time.
And wow....when I read back what I wrote, it seems like I really, totally, absolutely, utterly, completely (what other adverb that I can use to describe it? :p) pro in my work! Wahahahaha.....talking about the presentation, talking about the leaf sampling, talking about the trace elements, the sub-soils....and wow.....I really did a good job last time. Ehemmm......answering all the questions without hesitate, and very confident.....well....that's me.....just like Emma Corrigon....and in fact....i was just pretending to look so pro. Wahahahaha......
And....I was (or maybe still I am) a cry baby. Watch One Piece, will cry; read novel, will cry.....everything also.....as long as it touching me, will cry. Iskhh...iskhh....iskhh....But nobody knows that. I'm a tough one. Wahahahaha.....my sayang heard me cried one time. *duhhh*
Another thing....I always told myself that true love doesn't exist in this world. Hmm.... And I always told myself, nobody is gonna likes me. A second hmmm...... And ready to be a single person even for the rest of my life. A third hmmm..... (oh....okay...okay.....i change my mind now. True love does exist. Everybody deserves to have someone in their life. The key is.....just be patience, nothing to rush, and submit to God....everything is gonna be alright.)
Then, I read the email that sayang sent to me...from the first email until the recent one (which is today). My emotion when I read the email (tho' that was past already), sad, happy, curious, sad again.....and most of the time I feel sad.....even when I read the email now, I still feel sad. Haiz~ *emo mode again*.
I was / am happy when I read he wrote, "As my confession, I would say that I love you, Raymona." But, only after felt happy a bit, then he sent another email, by next day.
"So sad… I don’t want to lie people. Here is the truth; just now ukm asked me why I didn’t love her anymore. I thought when I tell her that I have someone else, she will accept it. But otherwise she cried loudly and asked me not to do that. She asked me to choose her or you, and then I told her that I choose you, honest and confidently, but then she asked me to choose her. She said she could die without me. I don’t know why.
Sad in me, I have to make choice. If so, I am so pity with her, not because I have no stand, but because feel responsible to take care of her after experienced a relationship with her previously. This is what happens in the world. What should I do? Why I am like this? It seems like I have no choice. I am so sorry. So sorry because we cannot continue our relationship.Waaa… I am seriously so sad, can somebody please help me? Raymona, I redeclared with ukm again, and we have to be friends only, not as bf/gf. SAD SAD SAD to me… WaaaAAAAaaaa….
From now on, I don’t want to be like a munafik people, lie in talking. I do not lie anymore, I told the truth in spite of bitter, very bitter. I want to cry, but no tears, my heart is crying but nobody is hearing. We plan for the best, God do the best, what happen for us, is better for us."
And then I complaint to him (by emailing of course), and he told me that he thought everything is alright. Hahaha.....the incident was during carrefour time. I wasn't mad that time, but felt sad a bit....so inside the car, I didn't say a word. Even when I came out from the car, I didn't say anything. Hahahahaha......see, I'm a sulky girl as well. :p But at least I didn't say anything right?
But it's okay sayang, you compensate it during potluck day. For that, I will never forget that for the rest of my life. ^^ That time I feel like I'm fall in love once again...with the same person. Hahahaha....iskhh....alright.....stop with the lovey-dovey thingy.
Hmm....it's 10.41pm right now. Wonder what sayang doing right now. Still playing futsal for sure. I wish to be like him. I always admire him. He is my another me. He is my other half; my other half that is better than myself. So sorry to whoever read my blog if I talk a lot about him. Boasting about him is like boasting about myself. Wahahaha..... I couldn't help it, anyway, this is my blog, so I can write anything that I want right?
And for sure people will ask, "Why keep talking about love....love..love....no other topic huh?" Yes, sure got other topic...but right now, I am in love. Hahahaha.....so you should understand my feeling. It's good to cherish our relationship. Why keep it for yourself? JUST EXPRESS IT!!! Before it is too late. Remember, the keyword to a successful relationship is a "two-way communication".
Many people having failure in their relationship due to this. They love their partner, but they never told their partner. And at the end, when thing happen, then started to blame each other. I tell you, if once your heart being cut (hurt), it won't be the same as before. The feeling is there but it won't be the same as before. To mend the broken heart (by the same person), it's still hard and it won't be the same like before. Learn from mistake, learn from the previous experience, learn from the people around us.
I don't want my relationship to end like that. At least not for this time. I'm matured enough now (I guess so) in handling the relationship. He is the best that ever happen in my life. 360 degrees I change my perception towards love now. Last time I thought that true love doesn't exist, there's no such word as our other half, no such word as soul-mate.
But I found mine already. ^^ Doesn't mean that our other half has the same interest with us. It must be 360 degrees different from us. For example, I couldn't draw (not so well), but he can. I don't like sport (tho' i'm pretty good with sport), but he loves sport so much. I love reading and writing, but he isn't. I'm good in language, but he isn't. It seems like we completing each other. Covered the weaknesses within us....and to make us PERFECT! Sound ridiculous right? That's why I said, he is soooo special to me. I couldn't lost him. He's gone, then I'm die. Err..I mean not technically die, but my soul will die.
Oh, one thing also, my classmates curious with the guy that I always sms with (I mean last time, but now they found the mysterious guy already). And they said that my face 'glowing'. Hmmm.....the power of love. Hahahaha..... Errkk....I need to study more about this. Hahahaha....my sayang sure will say, "Another experimental victim..." Sorry sayang, you are my subject. I want to study more about human behavioral, about human psychology, it's not that I'm making you as my guinea pig, I just want to know whether my theory is correct or not. *stick out tongue* hahahaha......
Alright...enough! The real reason I write this topic is to recall my last year writing. It's so nice to re-read what I wrote before, about my previous job, about the movie that I watched, about the books that I read, and about everything. And I wonder, by next year, what I'm going to write? *raise one eyebrow* Curious? We don't know what hold in future, but no matter what, LIFE IS GREAT! Just keep moving forward (my sayang's motto) and live happily, you will discover a great new thing in your life. Ciao!
Hahahaha.....don't ask how I get this photo. I like it so much!
My sayang (the very left) with his housemates and friends.
No comments:
Post a Comment